Oh sure I get asked, “ Do you own a pair of panty hose?” or “Are you the pastor’s wife?’ No to the first question and yes to the second. Hard to believe, I know, I really am the pastor’s wife. I live with the man with the sermon in his hand. Maybe you have met someone and they say, “ Are you Fred’s wife?’” , “You’re how old?”, “You’re the manager?”, or “You didn’t graduate from college?” and you can tell by their face that they are surprised. Hummmmm you begin to think….
“Maybe, I’m not who you expected?” ….is your response. We often wear ourselves out by jumping through the loops of others “expectations”. Its even easier to believe we are not enough. It’s exhausting to be someone other than yourself. “If I try harder” “If I take that job, my dad will be happy”, “I’m not good enough”, well you get the point, the list can be never ending. Before we know it we want to throw in the towel and move to Mexico! Okay, maybe that’s a little extreme! But before you head out to buy that sombrero ask yourself, “Who is it that God expects me to be?”
Gal. 1:10 “Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
Here’s some simple things that might help you determine whether you are jumping through loops:
1. What are my motives? Am I saying “yes”, to this opportunity because I think it will make someone else happy? For example taking a job your dad would be excited about but you really aren’t remotely interested. You pray but still find yourself settling for something other than God’s will for you.
2. Does this action please God? If it does that’s a good thing but even sometimes you may need to take it a step further. Does this please God for me to do this or is He calling me to focus on another area. A busy mom may get little family time but feels guilty saying no to friends on the weekend.
3. Are you aware of your gifts or talents? Emulating your best friend or an older sibling might be tempting but think back to the things that you’re good at. Some people are not even aware of their talents. It might take the help of a friend to discover some of yours.
4. Are you always saying, “Yes” ? You might think you’re just being nice but inside you immediately hate that you said it! Tired, over committed, or resentful? People pleasing has probably become your priority.
5. Is fear holding you back from who God wants you to become? We often hear people say, “ I could never lead a Bible study, I worry what people will think.” Never stepped up before, afraid to take that job, to lead a small group, or to launch a new business? Don’t let fear of people be that reason. Fear is a natural response, but a good friend once told me….”do it afraid!” And pretty soon you won’t be afraid anymore.
Jumping through loops might be fun way to entertain your friends but we don’t want it to become our life. Please God and the rest will follow.
Do you jump through the loop of others expectations? What can you do today to turn that into an event you only see at a rodeo instead of in your life? Love hearing from you……please comment below
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