Are you married to one of “those”men? The kind that’s good at everything? The kind that can just learn something at a drop of a hat and before you know it, he’s a pro? Maybe you’re like me, you have to practice a new skill over and over before you can do it without looking like a dork! Through the years my husband and I have had a few “friendly competitions” and he has beat me hands down at all of them except three.
Our “friendly competitions” have included, pitchin’ horseshoes, skiing, mini golf, baseball, football, shooting pool, riding…hands down…him, roping…..ugghhh…I’ve roped three steers…he’s roped, I don’t know…a bunch. Chess, him! Shooting…him again. Weight loss, he works out for a week and loses his extra 5 lbs. I work out for a month to lose mine. He even sleeps better than me! I have given him the jealous eye more than once in the middle of the night as he snores away on his side of the bed.
The three things I can beat him at? Okay, ready for this……..bowling, fishing, and bocce ball. I know, so if I have to go roll a ball at something on the ranch or need to catch our meal out of the tank, I’m your girl. Other wise, call Wendel, he will get it done!
So what’s a girl to do if she’s married to someone who good at everything? Does she spend all her time practicing until she’s perfect? No, that sounds tiring. Does she ask him to tone it down a bit? No, better don’t! Have you heard the old saying “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em!” This is especially true in marriage. It’s not about being better it’s about being together. When someone compliments him, they are complimenting you.
- Tell him he’s doing a good job. My man loves to hear how good he is doing. I mean does it really matter if he’s better at something anyway. Our gifts and talents should compliment each other, not compete with each other.
- Challenge him to try new things. He might be good at a lot of things but it might be hard for him to challenge himself to try bigger things. He may need to know that you’re willing to take a risk with him on a business venture, writing a book, or finally making the time to compete in Ranch Horse Competitions.
- Acknowledge his strengths and your own. I know he’s good at many, many things but you know, one day, I may just save our lives with a bocce ball. Jokin’. Don’t be critical of yourself to get compliments, acknowledge other strengths in yourself as well. You may be like me and have to be careful about thinking you’re not good enough! Are you a people person? Are you generous, the one who is a good friend? Celebrate together for one another…..cheer for him and he will cheer for you!
I love the reminder we get from Matthew 19:5, ” the two shall become one.” Enjoy the benefits of being one…..it’s a whole lot easier than trying to be perfect or compete with your spouse!
In a respectful way…….what areas do you find yourself competing with your spouse? I would love to hear from you and please sign up for my newsletter. Thanks
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