Have you ever seen a group of horses picking on each other? You feel bad for that poor horse that has fallen to the bottom of the pecking order. But before PETA calls and decides they want to keep all horses separate, let me just say….IT’S NATURAL! It was designed by God and is the order set for them in nature. We have a horse like this, his name is Tator Tot Joe. I know, it’s not a Pepto Boonsmal, or a Peppy San Badger. He got his name from a kid, I suppose, but that’s the name he had when he came to live with us. My sons rode him day working, he had a bad habit, flipping over backwards, that is …..when you were on his back. He didn’t keep this habit for very long and after many miles and wet saddle blankets, he eventually became mine. He’s been here for years now and has become our grandson’s future horse. He is loved! He has a limp and occasionally finds his way into the feed room but has become the old man in our little remuda. I can safely say, Tot has become the last man on the totem pole. He has become the last, in the pecking order and doesn’t bother to challenge any of the other horses.
Another one of our horses, a mare, was especially mean to Tot. She was an old nag. She would kick and bite him if he was within 20 yards of her. I would see her coming, his naïve demeanor would have him grazing unsuspectingly and from behind she would come, both ears pinned back as she lunged forward to bite him. What is a natural process in nature, is not meant to be natural in marriage. We are never meant to bite and nag at one another. Here’s a simple test to see if you’ve become an old nag or even if you’re a stud……you could be a real pain in the ass! I couldn’t resist, the story line just lead me to it!
1. You can’t remember the last time you complimented your spouse
2. You never ask them about their day when they come through the door
3. Complaining has become the norm
4. If your mother was around she’d wash your mouth out
5. There’s always a project to do and it’s nowhere near you
6. You make fun of your spouse in public or even private for that matter
7. The to do list has taken priority over the person
These 7 Signs should sound the alarm that things aren’t the way that God intended for marriage. Now, I know we all may have those moments when we mess up but if it becomes a habit, it could be a bad habit that drives your spouse away. So with everything, well most everything there is a solution. It doesn’t come from me but from the Word.
1. Our Words guard our life, if fact they preserve our life. Take charge of the running of the mouth and speak life into your marriage. Prov. 13:3
2. Value the work of your spouse. Just like you like to be appreciated, show that same interest. Do unto others as they would do unto you. Matt. 7:12
3. Complaining can cause such heaviness. There’s no doubt we encounter set backs and problems but even in those times, be careful you don’t create an atmosphere of complaining. It’s a heaviness that’s hard to shake off. Phil. 2:14
4. Ok….so I told you we all mess up and I admit my cussing earlier was uncalled for….so I’m sorry. Jokin’ aside, leave the cussing in the pasture, but God recommends that we don’t do it at all. Eph. 5:4
5. Draw to one another. No, not twenty four seven but desire to be around each other. Proverbs repeats this twice, “ Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” Prov. 21:9 and Prov. 25:24
6. Love and respect each other. Eph. 5. Do this in public and it will blow him away, compliment her or stare at her from across the room. Oh you will reap the rewards….both in public and private.
7. He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord. Prov. 18:22. This goes for us too ladies. Keep the priority on the person. Let’s ask him or her to do something for us, instead of pinning our ears back and lunging forward to take a bite!
So, Nag or Stud? Maybe neither but the reminder was good. I hope your barns are full and your love for your spouse is full as well. Love hearing from you and thank you for reading! thecowboypastorswife
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